Let's get serious

First up, I made it through September tasks. I have yet to wrap my lips (uh?) around a fancy coffee drink, but soon, soon. This month I gave up pasta which I know will be hard now that it's all cozy fall everywhere. Or wait, is it? Near 80 in October? Not a fan. My atypical food of the month is apricots...not all that atypical right?...well they are when you make a barbecue sauce with them!! Thanks Emeril?

I made a few last minute recipes last week: a chili chicken and pesto pasta dish that worked out alright, jicama slaw that was to die for, and a creamy chicken and rice bake with baby bella mushrooms and artichoke hearts...now THIS was good!!! I even f'ed up the roux and it turned out fab!

This past Monday night I installed Creative Suite 2 and Studio 8 with MUCH success!!! I now have Illustrator, Photoshop, Go Live, Acrobat, Dreamweaver, Flash, Fireworks, etc etc etc at my PERSONAL disposal! Now all I need is a project? HA! Never thought I'd say that! I'm actually almost finished with my secret TBA creative project...just a few tiny details, and then I'm set!

In any case, moving on from the updates...I'm trying to determine if I take life too seriously. I mean I know fun and good times, but I can be pretty judgmental about which "good times" are and are not a waste of life. Ouch! What does THAT mean? What is a waste and what isn't? My other question is: Is there a point to living if you're just going to go about it all careless and haphazard? I don't want to ask people to live the same way I do...what kind of boring world would THAT be?! It's just hard to let go of my stubborn principles sometimes.

Then again...what's with all the shrinks and self help books and advice columnists? Surely people need others to tell them what they are doing wrong. I don't have a degree in psych...is that why I shouldn't? And you know what? No one even listens to advice anyhow! I think everyone secretly hopes the adviser feels the same way they do in order to get that reassurance. Then there is the role of the adviser: an addicting, yet simultaneously frustrating position. Telling people what to do and not do is like crack. With the sobering withdrawal symptoms echoing the frustration that is said person ignoring everything you advised. Yet the same people who sober you up, DEAL the drug, so how are you supposed to break the cycle?? It can be infuriating. I suppose if you're honest, and more importantly, vocal about your frustration, they'll stop coming to you altogether!

Am I referencing myself in all of this? Well, I think I'm speaking for anyone who has ever been on this side of the fence. I've also NEEDED plenty of advice in my day. But I've tried desperately not to ignore it either, as I know the frustration involved. My John issues several months ago required more advice than I've ever received in my life! Self help books included! And I want to say I handled it ok? Perhaps at times I felt a bit sloppy, but then I'd catch my balance and try to look at things objectively. And it seems to have worked out for the best in the end! I did NOT get stuck in a dead-end relationship like so many of the couples in the help books. Then again, I think I also swallowed the bitter pill of responsibility in venturing down a road I knew had the CHANCE of going nowhere. If things hadn't worked out, I knew my friends and family would be there for me, but I also knew that THIS time around I wouldn't be blindsided. I knew what I was getting myself into and had to be prepared for the consequences. Did I luck out? Or did my passion for personal responsibility, and taking life so seriously, work to my advantage?

Life is serious business. Whether or not you believe in an afterlife or not, the seriousness is still very important. Either we get one life, and we have to make the most of it. OR we must intensely prepare for whatever is next for us: a heaven, a next level supported by our karma, whatever! Either way I take pride in trying to build something here that's important. It doesn't matter if it's important to anyone else either. However, I can't help but take offense to those who don't hold a similar point of view. You know, that feeling like you want to shake someone by the shoulders a bit? But his or her life isn't mine. I'm here to walk along side everyone, not lead the way. I'm obviously not a messiah, nor should I act like one. The best I can do is be an example I suppose. Examples aren't the rules; they are merely illustrations providing a possibility.

So I shall continue to work on all that stuff up there. I'm trying to be honest with myself. I mean whenever you point your finger, you've got three pointing back at you, right? Like I said, I know how to have fun. I know that life is full of mistakes and that they are our teachers. With that said, I also know how precious life is and how fast it can get taken away. Perhaps someone's gravely ill family member and my deceased father's 'would-be' 52nd birthday today got me on the existential thinking track this morning, I don't know. I'm not wallowing...just thinky.

Anyway, this weekend I've got some mad fun to be had in Chicago...I leave Thinky Katie at home and let loose a tad.